miss me?

I'm sure that all of you readers have been anxiously awaiting my return. And by all of you I mean all 3 of you and by anxious I mean that you probably gave up on this little blog. It's cool, I almost did too. But here I am, although, let me warn you ahead of time that I don't have anything groundbreaking to share.

The last two weeks have been incredibly busy, which is part of the reason for my lack of writing. I mean, I was two weeks behind on Bethenny!!! You know things were crazy...

Easter weekend was filled with showering the babe and celebrating the Risen Christ with family and friends. Then, it was time to get down to business with the packing of our house. NOT a fun task. Moving is the. worst. Seriously. Even though I knew we were going to a new, better house that we OWN and how exciting is that, I still dreaded the process. But with the help of my mom and linds, I got it done. Only by the grace of God...

Last weekend was only a little, tiny bit crazy. We had a lock-in ALL night on Friday night at church that both the hub and myself chaperoned, Saturday we finished packing and cleaned the new house to get ready for move-in, and Sunday the movers came, the hub had a fantasy draft, and I had work. Totally chill. By Sunday evening I honestly thought my feet would fall off, and the belly was not my favorite accessory. Not at all. But we all survived and now we're in the new house! yay! It's currently a disaster, but we're in it none the less. Success.

I'm trying not to be too crazy about the whole process, but we all know that crazy is what comes naturally. I just want everything to be done. Right now. Right NOW. Ugh. Patience is not my forte. But I'm working on it. I'm learning. It took me 3 tries to buy the right curtains for our bedroom - 3 tries! I'm not a very good homemaker just yet. But we finally have curtains on the windows and that is a victory. And I'll take it.

I'll be around this little blog sporadically for a while during the rest of the move in process. If you miss me terrrrribly... let me know. I'll see what I can do for you.

mini miracle

Ok, I know I said I wasn't going to bore you with anymore stories about the house and the demo and the remodel, etc. etc., but I just have to tell you this story. Sometimes it is so perfectly clear that God is so good!!

As you probably already know, we have to replace the banister on our staircase. Originally, I thought this would be an easy job. Easy and not too expensive... I mean, it's just a little bit of wood, right? Slap that sucker on the stairs and call it a day. Boy was I wrong. Just google "stair anatomy" and you'll see how complicated they are!! geeezzzz. I started getting quotes from different people: a stair company and then an independent woodworker. Both were ridiculously expensive, said they couldn't do exactly what I wanted, and made me feel crazy for even trying to put in a new banister without building a whole new staircase fancy enough to please the Queen of England.

Yesterday I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. We reallllly didn't want to spend that much money on the stairs, but I didn't know what other options we had! We certainly are not equipped to install a banister ourselves... I mean, I'm awesome at tile demo, but that's where it ends (oh, I'm pretty good at refinishing furniture too, but I guess I'm not supposed to be doing that kind of stuff right now... fumes? whatever).

I headed to the house yesterday evening feeling very defeated. While I was driving I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, and when I listened to the message, it was from one of the many stair companies I had contacted a week or so ago at the beginning of my search. I wasn't even sure that it was worth it to have someone come else and look at it - we already had two completely different people tell us that stair banisters cost an arm and a leg.

But something about the message, and the timing, struck me. The man seemed so nice on the voice mail, and something told me that he called when he did for a reason. I just had this feeling that God was sending me a sign. When I was ready to give up on the whole thing, I get this phone call I wasn't expecting. I decided to trust Him and call back.

Low and behold, Terry the stair genius came out to the house today, designed exactly what I wanted, and gave me a quote that was half of what the others quoted. MIRACLE! Honestly, I could not be happier. And I know that this truly is a gift from God. I probably never would have even called anyone else. I certainly wouldn't have ever called my man Terry. I am so thankful to God today for this small blessing! My mini stair miracle!

I know it may sound cheesy, and you may be skeptical, but I think that we need to take the time to recognize that the good things in life happen because of God. It's not luck, it's not coincidence, it's not karma or randomness, it's God and His amazing love for us. He really will help you through anything. But you have to trust Him, you have to look for Him, you have to ask Him.

Tonight is my favorite mass of the year - the mass of the Lord's Supper on Holy Thursday. At this mass we celebrate the last meal Jesus shared with his disciples and we remember that Jesus is still present with us in the bread and wine at every mass. What an amazing miracle!!! We are also reminded of Jesus washing the disciples' feet. Can you even imagine, having the Son of God wash your feet??? Crazy! But Jesus was showing them how much he loved them, that he was here to serve them, and encouraged them to serve others. Such a great message for us all.

Happy Holy Thursday!!

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above." James 1:17

so close, yet so far away

I have to admit, as this Lent winds down, I'm finding myself seriously strapped for topics to write about. I already feel like I've started to repeat myself, and that's just not cool. I'm sure you've already heard quite enough about the new house and the remodel issues, about my own craziness, and the other mundane details of my life that I share with you.

So where does that leave me? I'm really not sure. I had wanted to finish out this week strong, and even though there are only a few days left until Easter, it seems so far away. So. Far. Away. That's probably how Jesus felt in those days leading up to his crucifixion. Can you even imagine?? Knowing that you were going to have to endure this horrible, humiliating, painful death and having to just wait for it to happen? I bet he wished he could just fast forward to the end, don't you think?

It's interesting, I'm always caught between wanting to press the fast forward on life and wanting to hit pause. The upcoming weekend is going to be a very busy one, and just this morning I was thinking that I wished time would slow down just a little so that I would have the chance to get a couple of loads of laundry done (I still have two clean loads from last week that haven't been folded). Now, here I am, wishing I could fast forward through the rest of the week. Get it together, woman!! I've always been very fickle, what can I say?

Rather than wanting to slow down or speed up, I guess we need to all learn to just let things play out. To enjoy the moment. To take everything in and appreciate whatever is happening in your life right now. Of course, right now, I want to pull my hair out. I want the house to be done, I want Confirmation to be over, and I want to be able to fit into my regular jeans again and get my abs back. But focusing on the future is robbing me of the present, and I'm not taking any time to enjoy the things that are happening right now.

Have you ever heard that song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins? It's a country song (don't hate... I love country music. They talk about God and morals and sappy stuff and they don't curse. I like to think it's God's music). Anyway, it kind of sums up what I'm trying to say. I think I'll try to get fancy and post a link. We'll see how that goes.

Wherever you're at in your life, whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, try to slow down and enjoy the ride a little bit more. Trust me, I know it's not easy. I suck at it. But I'm gonna try, even if I have to put that song on repeat for a little while. (Another good one is Darius Rucker's "It Won't Be Like This for Long") Enjoy this most holy of weeks. And if nothing else, be thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ who suffered and died for us so that we may have eternal life. That's pretty cool, and it makes life worth living. Along with all that Easter candy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU&ob=av2n

See if that works for you!!!

baaa baa

Well good evening. I'm attempting to squeeze in a quick post before bible study starts in 20 minutes. My day has been fairly busy with Confirmation interviews, so I haven't had the chance until now to get a little writing time in. And with my luck, one of my students will show up early and barge into my office before I even have the chance to make a point. Not that I know what my point is going to be today. Geez, I'm a mess. Why does anyone read this again???

Tonight at bible study we are reading the Gospel of John Chapter 10 which talks about Jesus as the shepherd and his followers as the sheep. He explains that the sheep know the voice of their shepherd, so they won't follow any thieves or impostors. If only life were that easy, right? If every time we were tempted by another voice we would just automatically know - Well, that's not Jesus. Better stay put. But it's not always so easy.

But maybe that is just because we are never really listening. Or maybe we haven't allowed ourselves to know Jesus well enough to be able to recognize his voice. He is there, guiding us, protecting us, calling to us to follow Him, but sometimes we just don't listen. Or maybe, we are not being good sheep. Maybe we don't want to follow our shepherd; we want to blaze our own path. But if we go off on our own, it's likely we'll get eaten by a wolf. And nobody wants that, right?

I don't think I've allowed myself to be a very good sheep. I think sometimes I feel like the shepherd... trying to corral hundreds of teenagers and get them to recognize my voice. It's hard to follow when you spend all of your time leading. And let me tell you, leading can be very exhausting. I think that I need to put my trust in God and know what HE will lead the teens where they need to go. I can best serve them by being a good sheep, not a shepherd. If they see me following Jesus, then hopefully they will follow. I don't want to be a leader that is teaching them to blaze their own path right into the mouth of a hungry wolf.

So I'm going to work on being a really good sheep. It sounds kind of nice... grazing in a pasture, chewing on some grass, enjoying the sun, and not worrying about scary wolves. The weather right now is perfect for being a good sheep.... do you think they can hang out at the beach?? Today, remember to be thankful for our Shepherd, and enjoy your pasture. (my goodness... this is getting far too cheesy... time for me to sign off... plus, the first teen just barged into my office!)

demolition

Hey friends, sorry that it's been a few days. The closer we get to the end of Lent the worse I am about updating. I have to say, I'm pretty excited that Easter is in less than a week. Not sure what the fate of this here blog will be, but I'm ready for a happier church season. Easter is my favorite mass and season of the church - it doesn't bear the stress of "the holidays" like Christmas does and it is truly a time of rejoicing. Plus, I can't wait for the hub to be able to eat sweets again so we can start going out for fro yo again.

I didn't exactly leave you all on the most positive of notes after the last post, now did I? My apologies. I am happy to report that there have not been any other breakdowns since then. I'm keeping it together, even though I still haven't had the chance to get my Bethenny fix in (i'm hoping for tomorrow night when the husband is at the Padre game. Weird... he doesn't like Bethenny. Guess he sees enough crazy living with me).

I got to take out lots of aggression this weekend while we started the demo projects at the new house. I learned that I am really talented at smashing tile. Plus, it's really fun. You just get to take a sledgehammer and beat the crap out of the floor; the tile breaks and the pieces fly satisfyingly across the room. If you need some tile destroyed, let me know. I am now for hire. On Saturday we ripped out the carpet (hallelujah!!), and then Sunday I went to work on the tile. I basically did almost the entire kitchen and entryway single-handedly. Told you I was good.

Unfortunately, once the tile was up, the job was far from over. There is a nasty layer of linoleum under the tile that is practically IMPOSSIBLE to take out. It involved chipping away very slowly with a hammer and a crowbar. 4 of us took turns on Sunday trying to get it to come up and it's still not done. Sigh. Nothing can ever just be easy, can it? Yesterday, I was feeling pretty great about the progress we had made. Then, today, I went to the house and was overcome with defeat. Looking at the linoleum, at the HUGE mess, the dust, the concrete, the unpainted walls, etc. etc. made me feel very overwhelmed. We still have lots of work ahead of us.

Life is always a challenge, as we always have more work to do. Sometimes, it feels like things have to get worse before they can get better. That's definitely the case with our house right now. It looks much, much worse than it did a few days ago, but when it's all done, I know it will look infinitely better than it did and that it will all be worth it.

As Easter approaches, I think we need to remind ourselves that WE are constantly a work in progress. We are never done growing, done learning, done changing. Sometimes we need to remodel ourselves: our souls, our behavior, our outlook. And it's never easy to change. Even if the first layer comes up easy, like the tile, often times we have something else hidden deeper that we need to address. Something that we've kept hidden for years that has become so deeply ingrained in us that is seems impossible to change. It may be fear, doubt, resentment, pain, bitterness, sadness, vanity, pride... I could go on and on. But whatever it is, it's ugly and it needs some updating.

Updating takes time. And hard work. And demolition and dust and sweat and tears. And patience. No matter how much it sucks, because it will, you need to remind yourself that sometimes things get worse before they get better. That if you can work a little harder for just a little longer, you will be SO happy with the results. In the end, it will all be worth it. The moment that we think we can no longer improve or have nothing to change is the moment we stop growing. We become outdated, lose our market value, and all of a sudden we are the house on the block that no one wants. Even though it isn't easy, it is something we are called to do. Remember to pray, ask Jesus for guidance, and ask for help from friends and family. It will all be worth it in the end, I promise.

Now I just need to keep reminding myself of that every time I step foot in the new house. Despite the dust and destruction, I know great things are to come. Until then, I'll keep chipping away at the floors and know that I am so blessed to have so many people to help us throughout the process. If you're feeling bored in the next couple weeks, come on over! The old, ugly linoleum is waiting for you!