As many of you know, the great season of Lent started last Wednesday. And I have to admit, I say "great" with a hint of sarcasm. I've always felt that I've never been very good at Lent. For those of you who may not be familiar with Lent, it is the season of preparation for Easter. It is the time leading up to Christ's passion, death and Resurrection. It is the time when we are called to reflect on the love that Jesus has for us; that he died, a horrible, painful, humiliating death of being nailed to a cross, not because he HAD to, but because he WANTED to. He loves each and every person that much. Amazing, right?
During Lent the Catholic church urges us to engage in prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. These are the things that I always fail to do with the sacrifice, reflection, and passion that I should. This year is no different, and in fact, it's worse. Since the bun in my oven prevents me from having many of the things I love (wine, beer, sushi, diet coke, coffee, etc. etc.); I am feeling even more selfish than usual and am not willing to "give up" anything this year (You'd think that the realization of being selfish would push me to try harder. Not the case - I fully accept the fact that I am a weak, imperfect human being). This is where I fail at fasting. Not to mention, I have NEVER been good at fasting. Do you know the term hangry? Well, I am basically the poster child.
So, I decided that this year I would do something extra for Lent instead of giving something up. I resolved to praying more by way of a morning and evening reflection everyday. I have two little Lenten reflection books that I planned to use. Sadly, planning isn't the same as doing, and here I am, 6 days in to Lent, and I have failed to reflect every.day. so far. Thus, I am also a prayer failure. Awesome.
So, onto almsgiving: voluntary contributions to those who are less fortunate then I, by ways of talent (time) or treasure (money). The fact that I am a youth minister makes this facet a little tricky. First, most of the community service I do, while I enjoy, is part of my ministry, and thus, part of my job, and therefore, I am paid for it. So basically, that doesn't count. Speaking of pay, I don't make much, and with a babe on the way and a house in escrow, I tend to stress out and hold on to my pennies. I can and should do more. And I will try, but for now, I consider myself an almsgiving fail as well. Three for three. At least I'm consistent!!?!
Which brings me to this here blog. As a way of holding myself accountable, I've decided to share my Lenten journey, struggles and successes, with the almighty Internet. This way, I can track my progress, and maybe share some insight with the one or two people (hi husband!) who may actually read this. I'll be posting a reflection everyday, so stay tuned. And if I don't, feel free to call me out on it, so that this year, I can be good at Lent.
"Your words, Lord, are spirit and life" John 6:63b
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